An Open Letter to Critics:

There is no time I hate the world of film criticism more than when the "Best of..." end of the year lists come out. Inevitably, movies you have never heard of, let alone that played in your market, make the list of your local independent movie critics. This is when pretension and self-aggrandizing take center stage over the kind of fare their reader is actually watching. If you're lucky, this happens late in their career when they have become jaded and burnt out from the screenings of some obscure Eastern European art film or documentary. If you're less lucky, this happens early, when they're still trying to find their voice and impress the mythological powers that be that they are above whatever local rag they write for. I hate these people. In my opinion, they ruin the movie going experience.

It is for much the same reason that I don't read most movie reviews. There are a few people and places that I either trust to give me the unbiased news and reviews of the film (slashfilm.com being my favorite) or who's opinion I mostly agree with (Owen Gleiberman- Entertainment Weekly, see the blogs I follow). However, for the most part, I feel like the paid film critic has forgotten their audience. Joe Blow doesn't care how much you loved "Henri-George Clouvet's Inferno". He's never heard of it and is unlikely to seek it out. All he wants to know is whether "Tron:Legacy" is everything he wishes the original had been; or what movies do we need to have seen come awards season? We just want to win our office pool. When these types of critics do review the "popular" films, they tend to bash them as if everything is supposed to be an Antonioni or Merchant-Ivory film. There is nothing wrong with populist fare. "Get Him to the Greek" is funny. It's nice to laugh and no matter how many times you tell me "The Kids Are All Right" is a comedy, I found myself crying more than giggling! I understand your mistrust of and hatred for the Hollywood studio system, but that doesn't mean everything it produces is shit. Only some of it is.

In a perfect world, the avid movie lover would get to see all of these films before the average Joe- I know that makes my day. Instead, they have to wade through the jaded musings of a film critic, who seems to hate the medium they are supposed to love; to attempt to get to the heart of what's happening in movies today.

For shame to all the critics out there who take themselves and their press passes too seriously. Come back to reality. I beg you!

Worst Movies of 2010

Just like with the best of the year, given some distance; many movies that I was indifferent to found their way on the list and others that I originally found to be alright are now rubbish. Below are my picks for the worst movies released in theatres in 2010. Check out the links for my review. Who did I leave off?

Predators

The Last Airbender

The Wolfman

Skyline

Percy Jackson & The Olympians

Daybreakers

Red- This one went from a feeling of "eh" to the worst list. Next time, let's just film Helen Mirren and John Malkovich run around. It will be a lot more entertaining.

Date Night

When in Rome

Leap Year- Although the original review says 3 stars, it's really just 2. Matt

Greenberg- I guess I forgot to review this movie. I could have sworn... This is probably telling. What many critics are placing in their Top 10 Lists, I am firmly placing in the worst. I love the ennui of Noah Baumbach. "The Squid & The Whale" and "Margot at the Wedding" are wonderful films about family dysfunction. It was particularly painful when after watching this movie (co-written by and co-starring his wife Jennifer Jason Leigh- love!) that they announced they were divorcing. Is "Greenberg" a study at their own lives? Who is misanthrope Ben Stiller representing? The shining light in a movie that is too depressing for its own good is Greta Gerwig, of the Mumblecore film movement, really shines through as a young woman trying to find her own way and getting caught up in the experience of Greenberg. There is a moment in the film when she is dancing for him and for a second you think he's going to change and stop self destructing. Of course, he instantly realizes that too and acts like a jackass. I don't mind depressing movies, really. Sometimes there is nothing better that drinking a bottle of wine and crying. "Greenberg" however isn't just depressing, he's narcissistic and arrogant. He makes you want to punch him in the knee caps. Why would I want to watch a guy like that for 2 hours?


And now for the movies that made you shrug your sholders and promptly forgot about a month later. Here is my list of the movies of 2010 I ended up just being ambivilant about:

Alice in Wonderland


Robin Hood- This got 3.5 stars?

The Crazies- I think with a good amount of beer, this movie could be more enjoyable.

Valentine's Day

Survival of the Dead

Hot Tub Time Machine

The Last Exorcism

Chloe

It's a Mad, Mad, World

* (1 star)

I’m not sure where to start. I’ve been thinking about this review for two days now. “Mad Cowgirl” may be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I would have given this zero stars if that was something I would do, but; I don’t. The lowest rating is 1 and that’s what “Mad Cowgirl” gets. It is not a “question movie”- You cannot ask the screen a question expecting any kind of answer. I assure you, there are none. Instead, you can only make statements such as: “I have no idea what is going on”, “I thought this would be funny”, “If she is actually having sex with her brother, granted it’s James Duval, I will vomit”, and “I just vomited”.

There doesn’t seem to be any real story here, just a director trying very hard to be subversive about ten years too late. I could have forgiven it more had it not been a poor attempt to, what?; impress Gregg Araki? Casting a bunch of actor’s that have worked with him does not make your movie more interesting. That’s not how it’s done! Gregory Hatanaka is making movies for himself and his friends (I assume they like them as they all seem to be working on this picture), that should have stayed in the comfort of their L.A. squat.

Here goes on the plot. The movie opens with a 70s style public service announcement about the dangers of mad cow disease and how your vegetarian starter kit is available in the lobby after the film. Totally funny and a good idea for midnight showings. Unfortunately, this movie is so bad that dream will never become reality. Therese (Sarah Lassez), a meat inspector, flits through life providing shoddy health code inspections and having a lot of sex with strangers and her "true love" Pastor Dylan (Walter Koenig, Chekov in the “Star Trek” movies). Gross. Her brother, Thierry (Duval), manages a meat processing plant that is severely tainted. Don’t worry, she just shakes her head at him and accepts the free meat he gives her. Later, Therese learns she has some sort of brain disease and she begins to go a bit crazy. No one seems to notice though, even when she stars to believe she is the real life incarnation of her favorite kung fu star, Cindy the Girl with the Thunderbolt Kick, and begins killing people/defeating the 12 Tigers.

The problem is, this is never really explained. We assume Therese is crazy long before she gets the diagnosis. There are about 5 different languages going on here, and Therese seemingly understands them all. Her doctor speaks to her in Sinhala (Sri Lankan dialect); she speaks French to her mother, English to everyone else, with a bit of Spanish thrown in for good measure. The poorly written script is filled out with bible quotes instead of dialog that might move the story along. Therese seems to have a fetish for the divine and not only has sex with her boyfriend while listening to his sermons, but also seeks out a Catholic priest to corrupt and have sex with during a double feature of porn and kung fu in a seedy movie theatre. Is she doing any of these things or only hallucinating? Do we at any point care? By the time she starts killing people, I was bored out of my gourd.

“Mad Cowgirl” throws everything but the kitchen sink into it- oral sex, raw meat, exposed breasts, incest, blood, kung fu, 70s porn, televangelism, paranoia, corruption, religion, morals. An actual kitchen sink would have been a welcome dose of humor! If this were a student film, I may have been able to over look much of the junk thrown in. It is shot primarily in super close up and most scenes contain little more than the actress staring off into space. Oh, so indie! Why there needed to be three cinematographers is beyond me.

What must the script have looked like? I really want to know what the actor’s read and if it made sense to them or sounded like a good idea at the time. Lassez has been kept busy, mostly in small indie/art films (“Nowhere”, “Lo”). It’s kind of a shame as she’s not a bad actress per se. Perhaps she needs to go back to TV. Duval is one of my favorite actors but sometimes I don’t understand his choices. He must be friends with Hatanaka as well. I mean, he’s the younger Keanu Reeves (and I mean that in the best possible way)! Like Keanu circa “My Own Private Idaho”. Please James, please don’t do any more movies like this.

The only good thing about “Mad Cowgirl”? The line, “I love you more when you’re gone”.

I’ve turned off very few films and the only reason I didn’t turn this one off was you dear reader. I just kept hoping it would get funny, even unintentionally so, or that something would be explained. I don’t mean in a hold-my-hand-and-tell-me-the-meaning-of-life kind of way, but anything would have been much appreciated.

I loved one of the reviews for this movie on Netflix. “The graphic designer that made the cover of this movie look cool can go fly a kite!” To that I say, "Here here!"

They Say You've Got True Grit

***** (5 stars)

I'm not sure the Cohen brothers could do wrong if they tried. Sure, they had a bit of a bobble in the early 2000s with "Intolerable Cruelty" and "The Man Who Wasn't There", but it seemed more for them to prove to themselves whether or not they could step outside their comfort zone. They could not. Since their first film "Blood Simple", I have been a fan, and with their latest effort, they tackle the classic Western and a classic film at that.

"True Grit" is based more on the book by Charles Portis than the 1978 John Wayne classic (the only Oscar win for the actor). It tells the story of Mattie Ross (newcomer Hailee Steinfeld), a precocious 14-year old set on avenging the death of her father at the hands of infamous criminal and dim wit Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin). To aid in her quest, she hires washed up drunkard Reuben "Rooster" Cogburn (Jeff Bridges), a U.S. Marshal with the titular aplomb. Wandering in and out of the hunt is Texas Ranger LaBoeuf (pronounced LaBeef) who's been tracking Chancey through several states, played by the impressively moustachioed Matt Damon. Through Mattie's determination and hard will, and Rooster's knowledge of the underworld of Arkansas, the two will embark on a treacherous and often funny adventure towards revenge and redemption.

The film is a casting agents wet dream. Steinfeld is a revelation. I may use that word too often, but her performance is really something to see. She is truly deserving of her SAG nomination and in any other year would have surely garnered a Golden Globe nod as well. How someone so young (she was 14 when shooting the picture) could deliver a performance that is so confident and assured amidst Titans of the industry is impressive. That she does it with humour as well left me gobsmacked.

Jeff Bridges is competing against himself this weekend (see my review of "Tron:Legacy" here). He channels his inner Dude (a figure in many ways most resembling him in the real world) and infuses his Rooster with a sense of humour about himself and an inner desire to do good even though he would rather be drinking and sleeping. The verbal tet-a-tete's between him and Damon are some of the best acting scenes in recent memory. He is at the top of his game and stands a chance of becoming the 4th male to win back to back acting Oscars (Spencer Tracy, Jason Robards, and Tom Hanks before him). He missed out on the Globe, but they can be a fickle bunch. Perhaps they didn't like that this was a remake of sorts. Who knows! I'm keeping my fingers crossed he gets nominated.

Damon comes off with the kind of chutzpah that first attracted us to him in "Good Will Hunting". He is the underdog amongst underdogs. Whether being bested by a young girl and a drunken old man or the criminal that is constantly alluding him, he has a strong determination to see this quest through and collect the reward he has been chasing for months. We aren't sure if we are supposed to like LaBoeuf or if he is a sort of anti-villain; someone to get in the way of Mattie's ultimate goal. Through his actions, we find that he is a man of honor and true grit as well.

In the final showdown between good and evil, Chancy has met up with a gang of petty criminals and thieves led by Lucky Ned Pepper (a hardly recognizable Barry Pepper). [side note: Where the heck has Barry Pepper been and what is up with directors making attractive men so much less so?] It is a moment that is both climactic and reserved. The point is not in the action but in what said action sequences represent. It is a defining moment for each character. 

Long time collaborator Roger Deakins brings together both the expanse of unsettled early America and the intimacy between characters with his cinematography. Can we get this guy an Oscar for Pete's sake?!

I was weary about this movie, the original being one of my favorite Westerns of all time; but in the ever capable hands of the Cohen brothers it is a thing of beauty. My father remarked that it is much more in keeping with the novel than the earlier film. I haven't read the book but I will take his word on it. What is evident is that this movie stands alone and outside comparison with the Wayne version. They are almost different entities and are completely different films. I hope this movie does well and we can usher back an age of the Western, the undoubtedly American genre of film that I thought "3:10 to Yuma" would have done in 2007. Of course, that was also a remake so maybe the point is we need new Westerns. Someone call Clint Eastwood and tell him to quit making his political films and get back to business!

Best Movies of 2010

I don't get to see every movie that comes out in a year. Unfortunately, I have a day job that makes me unavailable during much of the day and leaves me with little money to spend on movies that might be good. Going through the list of new film releases in 2010, I was struck depressed by the number of movies I meant to see but missed. Oh well, that's why god invented Netflix right?

What I like best about putting this list together is how often my opinion changes. While it is rare for a movie to move from bad to good, it may often move from bad to eh? or vice versa. What made it good cannot be undone (unless we're trying to look cool and pretend we didn't like a movie when we did, i.e. "The Switch"). I feel warm and fuzzy inside as I watch the "good" list surpass the other's in quantity. 2010 turned out to be a good year for movies! (Someone tell the HFPA that there were better comedies out there than "Burlesque", stat!)

Below is my list of the best of 2010. Each one was released in theatres in the U.S. this year (so video releases and foreign markets don't count) and, obviously, I have to have seen it. My picks for worst movies and "Eh?", which I call the ones I am ambivalent towards, will be posted later this week.

What should have made the list?

(in no particular order)

Iron Man 2


Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows: Pt 1

Inception

Tron: Legacy

Kick-Ass

Splice

Scott Pilgrim vs The World

The Runaways

Shutter Island

Repo Men

Devil

Centurion

44 Inch Chest

The Social Network

Black Swan

Millennium Trilogy (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo/Played with Fire/Kicked the Hornet's Nest)

Easy A

The Fighter

The Switch

The Kids Are All Right

127 Hours

Ondine

Never Let Me Go

The Killer Inside Me

Suck

The Extra Man