Somehow, a group of us got to talking about songs about stalking. You know the kind that sound really nice then you listen to the lyrics and realize the singer is probably fantasizing about wearing your skin like a coat. Those songs! We came up with a few and then were distracted, probably by a shiny object. Thankfully, the internet didn't let me down so I present to you a list of the best creepy, stalker-ific songs out there!
"Every Breath You Take"- Police- The granddaddy of them all! Sting wrote it shortly after his divorce. Wonder what he was thinking...
"One Way or Another"- Blondie- Gotta love a woman scorned.
"Someone Like You" - Adele- "I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited. But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I hoped you'd see my face and be reminded. That for me it isn't over." Oh girl, no.
"I Want You to Want Me"- Cheap Trick- Remember that commercial, I want to say it was for a credit card; about this perfect guy who knew all the lyrics to this song and we're watching him sing it in the shower? Yea, they got it.
"Run For Your Life"- The Beatles- "Rubber Soul" is my favorite Beatles album, hands down. There's also something about John Lennon singing about doing bad things to his girlfriend while she was running around on him that gives me pause... I don't know why it seems weird. According to Wikipedia, this was George Harrison's favorite song. Since he's my favorite Beatles, it seems it was meant to be!
"I Drove All Night"- Cyndi Lauper- Maybe it's the lady in me, but I always imagined this was about a girl going to see her long-distance boy friend and surprise him with morning sex. How could that be bad? Then I started making this list and it all changed for me. Damned list! Ruining another great love song!
"Sunglasses at Night"- Corey Hart- Yea, this song is creepy no matter which way you slice it. Pun intended.
"Private Eyes"- Hall & Oates- Okay, maybe Oates is a private detective. Or, maybe he's lost his crackers and just thinks he is.
"I Will Possess Your Heart"- Death Cab for Cutie- "There are days when outside your window, I see my reflection as I slowly pass. And I long for this mirrored perspective, when we'll be lovers, lovers at last." Girls are dumb. If a guy said any of these things to us we'd probably melt on the spot.
"I Will Follow Him"- Lesley Gore- Whether you're stalking some guy you casually met at a sock hop or the Lord, desperation is not a good scent.
"Possession"- Sarah McLachlan- Apparently, the lyrics come from real letter she received from a crazy fan who then sued her and committed suicide. Talk about stalker!
"Hungry Like the Wolf"- Duran Duran- Stalker or just another horny guy at the club?
"Pictures of You"- The Cure- Robert Smith says this song literally about looking at pictures of his wife. Boring! I like it better if I imagine a "Seven" or "Silence of the Lambs" kind of thing.
"Possum Kingdom"- The Toadies- A note to ladies: Do not go wandering into the woods or other remote areas with strangers, I don't care how good looking they may be. That is all.
"Alison"- Elvis Costello- Oh those crazy exes... "I think somebody better put out the big light, cause I can't stand to see you this way. Alison, I know this world is killing you. Oh, Alison, my aim is true."
"A Little Piece of Heaven"- Avenged Sevenfold- Um... I must be disturbed, because I really love this song. It's sexy in a "Devil's Rejects"/horror movie kind of way. Dude is so worried his girl is going to leave him he kills her, then himself, and they get married in hell. How Burton-esque.
"Walking After You"- Foo Fighters- Come now Dave Grohl. Let me comfort you. Leave that other girl alone. You'll be fine, you're a rock star! Cheer up, Buttercup!
"Happy Together"- The Turtles- Totally ruins the old "other fish in the sea" cliche.
"I Put A Spell on You"- Various- If you want to avoid jealous wrath; then don't cheat, just break up!
"Never Gonna Give You Up"- Rick Astley- Maybe she's a free spirit Rick, like Holly Holiday (yes, I totally just made a "Glee" reference. What are you gonna do about it?!) Gives getting "rick rolled" a whole new meaning.
"Until You Come Back to Me"- Aretha Franklin- Who would walk out on the Queen of Soul and fear endangering her wrath?
"#1 Crush"- Garbage- I think there are a lot of guys, and let's be honest, a lot of women; who wouldn't mind Shirley Manson trying to win them over.
Why aren't there more modern songs on this list? I feel like we're missing an incredible opportunity to both right the new "Every Breath You Take" and reference Facebook at the same time. Where's my song about cyber stalking your ex? Come on emo kids! Country music stars!